Finding Quietude

As I get older, I am finding myself constantly deep in my thoughts – feeling pensive and reflective in my own little nook.  

I’ve realized that I have been coasting through the busyness of life, like so many others out there. I’ve worked so hard on the work/life balancing act as a mom, wife, and career-woman. I have learned to compartmentalize and suppress my thoughts and feelings, until now.  

Playing the role of a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear, or adviser to friends and family is one that I don’t mind doing. On the other hand, I’m one who feels like I’ll be a burden if I suddenly open up my heart and mind to anyone. I’ve always felt misunderstood all my life – as if no one can’t seem to understand what I’m saying and where I’m coming from.  I know now that this is no one’s fault, but it is rather a weakness on my part. Our lived experiences are different from one another, and no one should be forced to get the other.  

Lately, my head and my heart feel so full; there are too many reflections and emotions to process. I don’t really know who to share and how to unload my thoughts - so I figured, why not put them into writing. 

They say that the strongest people are also the weakest, the toughest are also the most vulnerable, and those who seem successful are also the most insecure. I find this to be true.  

In writing, I hope to find my quietude … that state of stillness, calmness, and tranquility. I created this little nook, where I think I can feel free and not misunderstood with my random thoughts. If you’re reading this, welcome! 

Pensive Nook | July 2021